


butter scotch, butter gin

by CampionSayn



Series: the anthony trollope way [1]
Category: Sing (2016)
Genre: F/M, Found Family, Gen, Johnny really didn't think the online dating thing through, mid-Love At First Sight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-29 08:49:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20960870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CampionSayn/pseuds/CampionSayn
Summary: The girls hear from Johnny about Ms. Crawly going on dates and are a little...understandably...suspect.





	butter scotch, butter gin

The new stage was set for rehearsal where the younger singers would be trying a rendition of a scene from _Rent_ spliced with Rosita and Gunter bringing in alternating scenes from _Sunset Boulevard_ that Nana Noodleman had approved the week before when Eddie thought she should try to get back into the game now that the theater was in full swing again and she didn't want to get bored at home. She'd be something of the center of the piece, in single spotlight once the others were done, singing (no joke) an opera-rock rendition of _Piece of My Heart_\--complete with her wearing a leather outfit that made Eddie instantly regret everything.  
  
This all took a back seat in the minds of the theater girls that afternoon as Meena went looking for Johnny and found Ms. Crawly's computer lit up and open to an online dating service with _multiple_ hits.   
  
_'Her first name's Karen?'_  
  
....Meena shook her head and leaned in to squint at the actually really quite terrible pick-up lines of the animals that Ms. Crawly had already agreed to go on a date with.  
  
Oh, no, no, no.  
  
"ASH! ROSITA! Can you get up here please?"

* * *

Johnny honestly wasn't sure who he should be more afraid of. Ash, who had him backed up into a chair; Meena who was simultaneously trying to be kind but firm, ears drawn to her face, but hands to her hips; or Rosita, who seemed to be peacemaker between all three of them in the most classic Mom Way of all--waiting for Ash to calm down after pulling her gently back into the spare chair and waving for Johnny to sit in the chair he'd been standing on.  
  
"Not that we don't think what you did for Ms. Crawly wasn't especially kind of you, honey, but--"  
  
"But she's a trillion years old and some of those guys are OBVIOUSLY slime--"  
  
"And maybe you should've, I dunno, vetted them first?"  
  
Johnny twitched in his chair at the word '_vetted_' leaving Meena's mouth. A feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach at the idea of that word even entering the elephant's mind, let alone her verbalizing it.  
  
"Now, come on girls, it's not like they can all be bad. She had four offers in her first thirty seconds and she was really excited, but I still had her wait five more minutes...after she tripped on her face and all."  
  
He tried to smile, reassuring and optimistic. Right up and until they all mirrored the exact same deadpan expression. Eyelids half drawn, mouths in impossibly rigid lines only slightly pursed and no other hint of life anywhere to be found.  
  
Then he knew he was in deep trouble.

* * *

"Well, Ash was certainly right about some of these guys being slime. I remember that sheep sang _Kiss From a Rose_ at the auditions for the competition--honestly, his _mouth_."  
  
"Three hundred dollars for a meal Ms. Crawly barely touched?!"  
  
Both Ash and Meena remained in their seats, on either side of Johnny at a little out of the way diner that would give all four worried animals a view of the fourth guy Ms. Crawly would be seeing that week after a slew of what could only be phrased as disasters.  
  
Rosita had gotten the billing information on the date with the sheep, Meena had uploaded a pirated video of the movie Ms. Crawly had viewed with a snake with the two clearly visible in the front, and Ash had the security feed from the dance club the old lizard had gone to with a bull.  
  
None of them were very happy after reviewing all the information, but Meena had to keep laying her trunk across Johnny's shoulders to keep him from jumping over the table and going to find the absolute bastards that had treated the poor woman so badly.  
  
As rude as the snake had been and as narcissistic as the bull had been, however, the sheep was their top pick to get revenge on at a later date. Even Rosita was accumulating mental details of just what they could do to the horrible thing once they watched this particular night play out.  
  
Johnny sipped from his butterscotch and banana smoothie, grinding his straw along the rim like he wanted to stab the morsel to take out some of the pent up anger that he as a person rarely felt and didn't like feeling, but was in this case justified.  
  
"This is all my fault," he sighed, slouching and banging his head on the diner table before bringing his hands over his hair, "I really should have guessed she'd have no idea what she was getting into when she didn't even know what _online_ meant, and listed one of her hobbies as _bowling_."  
  
Rosita took a nibble from her frozen Ceder's and malt yogurt mix and patted Johnny as consolingly as she was able from across the table as she watched the car with the alligator arrive a few minutes ahead of schedule, "Now, now, maybe you shouldn't give up quite yet, honey."  
  
"Yeah, the main event has arrived," Ash said, taking up the pair of binoculars she'd brought that were quite unnecessary for the rest of them, but she'd insisted on bringing since she was the shortest among them and could barely see over the window frame of the diner.  
  
Meena tilted her head, trunk rubbing Johnny's shoulder as he groaned before lifting himself from the table to blink over at said 'main event'; Ms. Crawly making her way down the sidewalk with a droopiness not usually part of her character.  
  
Which was when her glass eye popped out and began rolling down the street.  
  
...To be picked up by the old alligator waiting for Ms. Crawly.  
  
"Ooh," Meena breathed, mind thinking of old fairy stories her Grandma and Mom used to read her when she was much smaller and liked to be indulged with flights of fancy read out loud before sleeping; Cinderella came to mind just at the right moment as the elderly couple looked up at the full moon and gave the other a soft smile.  
  
She didn't notice her trunk tightening along Johnny's shoulders until he brought a hand up and squeezed just at the tip, not looking back at her, but both of them sharing excitement as Ms. Crawly and the gentleman _(Rosita had browsed his profile and knew his name was Herman, he was widowed, worked as a librarian and had hobbies that included golf-cart driving)_ took a seat on a bench along the waterfront and shared a sun reflector full of silver moonbeams.  
  
"Huh," Ash hummed in approval, removing her binoculars long enough to punch Johnny's shoulder just under Meena's trunk, grin wicked and enduring, "Congrats, big guy, looks like you didn't screw it up too badly after all."  
  
"Imagine that," Johnny agreed, somewhat dizzy with how hard he was smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> I cannot believe I had to go through three different sites because the end titles at the end of the mini-movie blurred on my screen.


End file.
